August 2012
1 post
Tainted for Life
I’m in the middle of making pureed zucchini for the baby when I leave the kitchen for something. Upon returning I notice my wife waiting with the baby in her arms and a concerned look on her face. “Come here. Does her head smell like B.O. to you?”
My first thought was, “How is that possible?” “Has she pretended to be a cat and rubbed up against someone...
July 2012
3 posts
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In Which We Find A Tooth
Our baby is about a week shy of 8 months, and we’re starting to see a lot of things happening with her. According to certain websites, we should be seeing things like increased motor skills, crawling and somewhere around 13-14 hours of sleep a day. She’s getting better with motor skills (read: pulling on anyone’s hair that’s within reach), not crawling yet and doing her best to limit her sleep so...
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On the Move
Our child is becoming more mobile. It all began with her raising her head while on her stomach. “Tummy time” as they call it. She then began more complicated maneuvers like rolling over to her opposite side. The problem was, she could never get back to where she began. She’d cry and we’d set her straight, only to have her flip right back over again. Either she’s a really young show off, or she...
June 2012
1 post
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Joining the Club
I’ve never been one to accept much credit for things I’ve done, or think highly of myself. My self esteem is not the greatest, and I tend to doubt my strengths and focus mainly on my weaknesses. I tend to complain more than I praise, and I have some really long eyebrow hairs that make me look like an owl. So on my first official Father’s Day I find myself asking, do I deserve the adulation that’s...
April 2012
1 post
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End Intermission
I’m supposed to be writing, aren’t I? Documenting things so that when I’m old and senile (i.e. 2 years from now) I’ll have a digital reminder of what happened back then. I’ll look over these words like Doogie Howser did at the end of every episode. Smile, tilt my head a bit, maybe give a little knowing laugh like “Right, here’s the lesson I learned!” and then wonder where all the time went. Then...
February 2012
7 posts
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“It’s not about you anymore.”
– My daily mantra.
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January 2012
9 posts
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
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Six Weeks
I still can’t believe that my wife and I have been parents for six weeks. If you’d rather have that translated into adult speak, it’s a month and 2 weeks. Most people tend to get pretty frustrated at the whole counting in weeks thing. I can only share this, as a new parent of an incredibly fussy child: you have to celebrate the little things when you have a baby. She slept 2 hours straight? High...
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December 2011
3 posts
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Three weeks in
Our baby has been ex utero for three weeks now, and so far it’s been a bumpy ride. Not that we weren’t expecting challenges, and this is surely nothing compared to future ones. Yet some things you just can’t understand until you’re ‘in the shit,’ or you’ve had shit on your hands, or you’ve seen projectile shit. You get my drift here. What have...
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12/9/2011
I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my wife’s voice and her shaking me. I noticed the time and wondered why she had gotten up an hour and a half early, which is something that she might do if she had financial motivation. “My water broke.” Upon hearing this I quickly shot up and realized what she had said, and what that meant for us. Today was the day we were going to meet our baby. ...
